Sisterhood: QUEENS Fix Each Other's Crowns

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Yo! My tribe is lit!! Okay I just had to say that before I got started!

Have you ever just sat back and thought about how dope your friends are? Like seriously thought about each individual in your life that you consider a friend (You shouldn’t be calling everyone a friend anyways so it shouldn’t be that hard), and think about how much they contribute to your life and you to theirs?

I used to watch shows like Girlfriends and Martin and even recently with the movie Girls Trip, wishing I had friendships like that. Friendships that stemmed from childhood into adulthood. Friendships with longevity. It was always quantity over quality for me. How long I knew someone was how much I valued their friendship. I had it all wrong. It wasn’t until I got close with my current tribe of girlfriends that I realized, "Girl you been doing this all wrong shawty!"

Growing up, I was made to believe it was a competition between me and other women.

That’s what society taught me.

That’s what TV taught me.

That’s what experience taught me.

So...that’s all I went by.

In high school remember when your "friend" lied to the rest of your girlfriends that she liked your boyfriend first and you snuck and started dating him. You both knew that wasn’t the case but they started dating anyway and there was nothing you could do about it...

Or when your close girlfriend seemed to always like your man or someone you’re interested in, sits on their laps when you’re around, and flirts with them in front of you…

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Or maybe when you share some exciting news with your friend and she isn’t truly happy for you because she's Sour Sally living on Miserable Lane…

Or when you messed up with a friend and you apologize. She didn't forgive you, but forgave the dude that dogged her out for years. Let me pause and talk about this really quick! Why can’t us women forgive each other, but can forgive a guy that has done way worse to us? Everyone screws up. Now I’m not saying don’t forget about what’s been done to you, but I am saying have a little grace.

Anywho, you kind of get exhausted with friendships with women because at times it is exactly what society portrays it to be. You know the catty, miserable, drama filled, group of girls that you don’t want to go to a restaurant with because they don't know how to act.

Or so I thought.

That’s when God was like “hey boo let me show you what REAL sisterhood is all about” and just like that I established some meaningful and lasting friendships. Seriously, that’s how it happened lol! I have multiple sets of women I talk to daily, hang out with often, and support all of the time. I honestly, can’t even tell you how some of us met, but I can tell you that all of them are like my sisters. It’s crazy because they range from 29-39 and they all have children. I'm lying...most of them do! I say it’s crazy because I would have never thought I could be so close to multiple women at one time who I admire and want to be like.

I admire EVERY SINGLE ONE!!

They all contribute so much to my life! Most I have only known for about 3 to 4 years. Some I just met this year, but you would think we have known each other all of our lives. Its not often you see a diverse group of women speaking life into one another, having fun, taking care of business, while being mothers, girlfriends and wives. My friends are business owners, entrepreneurs, wives, mothers, teachers, store managers, event planners, and just highly educated women who are and will conquer this world one stiletto at a time! And if I had the same mindset I had a few years ago, I would be intimidated by women like this. I would try to compete with women like this. Being through so many bad friendships has helped me to value the girlfriends I have now. Being the “bad” friend has helped me realize what I need to do to better sustain lasting friendships. My prior friendships, I felt like I was pretending. Pretending to be someone I wasn’t to stay relevant in these people’s lives. I would talk a certain way (whether it was bad or good. Lord bless my college days!), I would dress a certain way (continued blessings my college days Lordt!), and I just wasn’t myself.

NOW!! I’m the authentic and genuine me. And all of my friends accept me for the goofy, assertive, transparent person that I am. If you can’t be yourself around your friends then you’re living a lie.

True sisterhood is seeing the beauty behind a person’s imperfections. No one is perfect. We are all going to make mistakes in our lives that could affect the ones we love. We are all going to go through trials and tribulations that may cause us to become distant. We all will go through LIFE! But wouldn’t it be great to have a sisterhood that will be there with you along the way? Encouraging you. Motivating you. Elevating you. Uplifting you. Praying for you.

I had a very depressing week last week. Hurricane Irma and personal issues had me in a complete and utter funk. Let me tell you how my friends would NOT let me stay in that funk! Remember those flowers I received? If you don’t know what I’m talking about because you don’t follow me on social media, I received 24 pink roses on Friday! 

I told my friend, Stephanie, that I probably was not going to make it out that night to party with them because I just didn’t want to be around people. Do you know she showed UP and showed OUT! My friend brought flowers to my job lol! I was crying like a newborn baby! Then I went out with them and acted a pure fool! But I needed and deserved every ounce of that love! And that’s what sisterhood is...LOVE.

So what does sisterhood mean to you? Sounds like a sorority intake question 😂  but in a society where “we all we got,” it’s a question that should be examined more with more depth. Right now is the time to be a part of a sisterhood that will embrace you and love on you! This era with women like Issa Rae, Auntie Maxine, Michelle Obama, Viola Davis, Taraji P. Henson, Gabrielle Union (you know I had to include Sis!), Hillary Clinton (she IS the first woman to be chosen as a nominee for a Presidential election), and so many more, this is our time to shine! THIS is our time to come together and it starts with YOU!

To be a ‘sister’ is to be a friend. It is to be loyal. Tried and true. It is to give a smile, lend a hand, and practice friendship. It is to be forgiving. To be a covering, a balm, a helping hand, a fierce advocate and builder of other women. Being a ‘sister’ means you value other women as you value yourself. Now that can be problematic if you do not value yourself as a woman. But, it’s okay you can learn to love yourself. You can learn to feel worthy and valued. You can learn to trust, love and support other women even if everything you have experienced in your past or been taught is contrary to that possibility. It’s time for us to put the ‘sister’ back into the word ‘sisterhood.’ It starts with you and with me, right here and right now.
— Sophia A. Nelson

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